there’s always room for more fun, more ease, more compassion PERSONALLY for myself in my life. i’ve noticed a few things. when my energy is contracted (frustrated & emotionally hurt) and i expand a small amount then i have space to judge or feel feelings about what i am feeling-that’s a fucking mess. feeling like a contracted is like the weight and energy of the world all forced onto the worlds smallest boat trying to make it across sea. no space to get perspective. then come the first stage of expansion. the boat has just gotten a bit bigger. no longer am i sitting on others while others are sitting on top of me. now we’re sitting side by side, cramped. there’s enough room to look around to notice that there’s not enough room. next level of  expansion-room to breathe. i thank god! some times i get stuck on level 2. Often i get stuck on 2, i think that because i can see that what i’m seeing is the bigger picture, so relative. judgement, shame, guilt, blah! i’m a clown. i’m defensive. what a mess. then grace comes in and i remember gratitude and/compassion for myself. doors appear where there was once none. i love miracles, something out of nothing. what am i getting at? i have noticed a reoccurring moment lately where i feel safe enough to feel emotions that are often not comfortable.

i remember that i’m allowed to wait to feel safe, that i don’t have to fix everything or anything NOW. why do we budge when we’re not ready? who are we rushing for? i remember divine time today.