DSC_7454 REi am nervous as fuck. i’ve been nervous for the last 6 months or so, nervous in my body but not in my head. my head is the most relaxed it’s been in 30 years. when i sit really still i can feel the ever present anxiety in my chest swell up bigger.  i’ve speculated that i’m just too sedentary. my sleep is fucked up too and most nights i lay in bed trying to get my body to submit to my will, “just go to sleep, everyone else is asleep at this hour. ” then at 6 am i arrive at my bodies bedtime and i fall asleep & wake up when ever i damn well please (9-12 hours later). i’ll stay up late playing on facebook & have a pity party about my pathetic life. i’ll scroll through the 8 hour old feed and see memes about camping putting the whoop ass on my sleep schedule. the memes seem lame but resetting and unplugging sound amazing! sitting at my computer for most of my day (work and leisure) feels like it’s sucking me dry.
i’m the last generation in this country to know life before/without internet. the first 20 years of my life was spend with friends, going on bike rides, long walks, getting in trouble, watching movies, reading books. even as a little kid i watched as much tv as i played outside. each show had a definitive end unlike playing on facebook.

so i’ve been thinking about unplugging and resetting. a month ago a wild friend said their wild little family was going to bike up the west coast and were to live on bikes indefinitely. i invited myself along and my innovation was accepted a week later. mark dropped his summer classes 2 days before they started to come on this trip with me. with 3 weeks to get our shit together we hustled about $300 between selling stuff on craigslist and to the pawn shop. we pulled some of our last dollars together to get everything we need to live outside for an undisclosed amount of time. i know we wont be gone more than 2 months because mark has school and was contracted to build a bass for a deep space metal band. due to timing conflict mark and i will be traveling without our homies.

since we’re going to be homeless with no way to hustle trash money and no fridge full of free food i’m hoping to recreate those wonderful elements on the road. i’m hoping to dumpster and busk our way up the coast…. we’re poor as fuck so we’ll see how this unfolds. i’m scared of some things about this trip. this seems way more dangerous than train hopping. biking up 6,000+ ft of elevation freaks me out, plus strong winds, heavy summer traffic, blind corners, no shoulder, etc. but scared or not i’m getting on greyhound in a few hours and moving forward with the plan.

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