Category: food

Cognitive Dissonance (and other logical fallacies) Can Be Sour Grapes – My Story


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  • formal fallacy (aka logical fallacies) is a pattern of reasoning which is rendered invalid due to a flaw in its logical structure which can neatly be expressed in standard system of logic. *wiki*

  • cognitive dissonance is the mental stress or discomfort experienced by an individual who holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values at the same time, or is confronted by new information that conflicts with existing beliefs, ideas, or values. Leon Festinger’s theory of cognitive dissonance focuses on how humans strive for internal consistency. When inconsistency (dissonance) is experienced, individuals tend to become psychologically uncomfortable and they are motivated to attempt to reduce this dissonance, as well as actively avoiding situations and information which are likely to increase it. *wiki*

    When i was 17 (over 14 years ago) I read Diet For A New American and became vegan. Day one started with me reading information and pretty much every day for 9 years I had a book in my hand and I read everything about veganism, health, and how factory farms destroy our planet. I took it very seriously and personally that my diet had a real impact. I was always hungry & excited for information, even after 9 years so I knew I would be vegan for life because being engaged with the lifestyle was so effortless. The final 2 years of veganism for me were done as a raw foodist. I created 70 *lame* youtube raw recipe videos, helped open a raw cafe and found an entire community of like minded people to be apart of. Everyone was 100% on board with raw food, unschooling and conscious awareness (via thoughts and language). To say I lived and breathed raw veganism would be an understatement, not to mention the 7 years prior to that where I was just vegan. The raw vegan community at the time had a lot more gurus, leaders and  the “look at my body” types than the regular vegan community so when a handful of raw food celebrities were having an event the next state over I had go. My friend Jessica and I drove up to Oklahoma for the event. I knew Jessica from the raw food community, she was a few years older than me and had been into raw food way before I was. On the drive up to the event she played an audio from a multi hour long program by Daniel Vitalis. I was a huge Daniel Vitalis fan from watching his spring water videos  a couple years before that. I assumed he was a raw foodist like me from how his water videos moved through the raw vegan community. The 3 hour drive consisted of him talking about the value of animal foods and the fallacies of veganism (raw and cooked). What he was saying was really hard to hear, it was like some sort of mental, emotional, physical discomfort and I was not at all into it. We get to the event and it was great seeing so many people that I followed online including the raw model who’s blog I followed for years. I didn’t think about the Daniel Vitalis talk after that and it was pretty much was out of sight, out of mind. However I had already committed myself to seeing him live, he was coming to Dallas. I originally assumed it was a pro raw food kind of thing but stuck to my commitment to go once i realized otherwise. I knew my veganism was rock solid and his water videos had a huge impact on me so I couldn’t see any harm in attending the event. Plus so many friends from my community were going that it wasn’t just about seeing Daniel. Long story short his talk blew my vegan mind. He was vegan for something like 15 years (his tale is a pretty standard). It pretty much took someone who had been in my shoes, walking my path to make different sense of my journey.

and there’s where cognitive dissonance start to come in……


Don’t expect real science from AnarchistKitchen

Okay, lets say I have a world of information. My brain for some reason pictures a lime green jello salad. Each little chunk of gross shit inside is a nugget of truth, in and of it self it is what it is. Now the green goo could be the whole of my brain on the microcosm or the universe on the macrocosm. The goo is whatever it is that is holding (not sure that’s the right world) life and consciousness together.

Let say I zero in on one single nugget of information, cauliflower chunk on the left (raw food has lots of enzymes) and another nugget somewhere else (cooked food has less of the same enzymes than before when it was raw) and another nugget (our body uses enzymes). now these pieces of information are always out there in the ether. 99% of people will never zero in on those nuggets but they’re always there. Maybe 1% of people zero in on those nuggets of information and with that volume of information the brain could start to draw conclusion. Here’s what that drawing could look like:


STARS are nuggets of TRUTH. The squiggly line is where    we connect the dots which paints a picture that draws                                             conclusions.

Our brains are fucking complex so there will be a lot of information that it’s taken in and an infinite amount of information that is weeded out. Part of how our brain weeds out the literally infinite amounts of information involves cognitive dissonance. If we have a vested interest due to strong held emotional beliefs/past experience it’s likely our brain will do us a solid and just leave out all of the dots that don’t maintain your already painted pictured (aka conflicting information). I’m going to go out on a limb and say that I see some overlap between what I’m saying in regards to connecting dots and quantum mechanics (which I truly know nothing about outside of cheesy documentaries in my early 20s). Remember this sweet chz ball?

In my head what I’m hearing is that the brain is the map, not the territory. So an infinite amount of stuff is present forever and always, our brain takes in whatever capacity it can handle then starts making sense of it all. The more of “I know it already” you are the more your brain will starting taking completely unrated dots to weave it into the really big elusive story of the mind. Ever meet someone who will take irrelevant pieces of their life and use those piece to exemplify what they already know to be “true”? All extreme people do this (I’m raising my hand, super GUILTY). To that person everything is an example of how men hate women, how The Man is trying to keep us down, how shits gonna collapse, how something back in the day is prophetic, how too little or too much of a particular food is the the cause of X,Y and Z.

There’s more dots out there than we can take in and there’s more that we’ve taken in than we can process. So there’s an infinite number of ways to connect dots and make sense of a given amount of information. I had all of the vegan facts, a large amount of dots were connected which painted a very clear picture of veganism being the one and only way for a healthy planet, for healthy animals and healthy humans. Then I added in more information, the dots stayed in the same place but the connections were radically different. When I look into the world I can not see what I used to see as “the answer”. When I was vegan was I wrong for connecting those dots? No, I don’t think so. Am I right for how I’m connecting dots right now? No, I can’t imagine I’m right either. I’m seeing things how I see them and I’m open to change, what else can I do or expect others to do.

While it was embarrassing being a vegan know-it-all but I think the 4 years I did paleo after veganism seem WAYYYY more embarrassing. When I was Paleo I was listening to Robb Wolf and Daniel Vitalis. I felt niave that I believed veganism was natural because of Weston A Price documentation of traditional people each following their same non-vegetarian diet multi generations deep and all having outward signs of “superior health”.  I don’t know of any historical book that follows tribes of vegans for multi-generations, there was no living and breathing proof but just information and i put a huge amount of myself into it. but now i think paleo is the lamest most gimmicky bullshit ever. i used to have a charge with veganism which i no longer have. no i have a charge with paleo, i hear the word and cringe…. i’m hoping to not give a shit one way or the other.

The time in my life where I felt super solid in my brain I was raw vegan and on another wave length which felt almost like another planet. I felt really different and “the truth” was all super clear, i felt spiritual. That was also a time in my life that i was seeking the most “truth” and leaving very little room for new information. I locked my mental door, didn’t watch movies, listen to music, ate the least amount of food, lived alone and wouldn’t allow more information in (or out). So perhaps I had 1,000 dots to connect instead of 100,000 which created the illusion of clarity.

more dots mean more information and information isn’t good or bad, it’s what’s already there whether or not i was aware of it. I don’t need to be aware of more but its misleading to draw conclusions with limited information. I’ll take what my brain gives me and try to stay open. Truth is no longer my job, I don’t need big meaningful answers/conclusions.

For almost 2 years I’ve been wanting to write about cognitive dissonance. I started to see that as I unwound from my emotional investment with different diet bullshit as well as the radical anti-civilization bullshit that there was a quiet little space where I could observe, connect dots, honor what i’m seeing and not compulsively draw conclusions about how my thoughts and feelings “SHOULD” predict my behavior. Let me give you an example. The day I learned about sweatshops I will never forget. I was vegan for 2 years at the point, almost 20 years old and bought a progressive book from whole foods that talked about everything fucked up. It was a super simple book, I want to say it was almost like a photo book with a paragraph on each page. There was a page about sweatshops, human fucking slaves! I mentioned it to my roommate and he was like, “oh yeah, that’s pretty standard”. My emotional reaction to that was OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! I was poor as shit growing up so I already felt like an outsider to buying new clothes, like I’m not privilege enough to go shopping and everyone can tell. you guys know that feeling right? where you don’t feel entitled to shit and think you stick out like a sore thumb. so I went from thinking that I personally don’t deserve to have nice clothes to the compound feeling of buying sweatshop items is grounds for a panic attack. the level of cognitive dissonance involved to feel like i’m going to have a panic attack because i need to buy some bullshit at walmart was off the fucking chart. 2 years ago when I started making peace with having two conflicting beliefs I felt like i was in my skin for the first time in I don’t know how long. I can hate sweatshops AND buy sweatshop items as needed without all of the drama. The stupid thing is that I would spend all that time in the past making a huge ordeal in my head, “give away all of my power” (not to walmart but let my power drain from my body). it’s stupid because minus all of the emotional turmoil the actions are still the same. On some level I felt that my stress and anxiousness about the situation morally meant something. If i buy walmart products with joy in my heart then i was an asshole. if i felt a soul crushing amount of guilt that would elevate the sin and be proof that i really care.

and I see that line of thinking everywhere. I’m going to tell you why something is fucked up/extreme, then you’re going to prove you get it by saying, “oh my god that’s so fucked up/amazing, blah blah blah, my emotional stability is so out the window because this is fucked/blissed out amazing”. Like when someone tells you about their amazing fantastic religion, political party/candidate, their amazing diet or the truth on factory farms. It’s often seems like my emotional reaction is more important that them simply giving me the information and letting me make an unbiased opinion, the facts aren’t enough. Then when you don’t jump through their hoops they act like you must have not gotten it and want to re explain it. (i’m speaking from experience here, i’m way guilty of that too.) And it’s always the folks who are emotionally invested to a particular belief who want to call folks out as being biased and closed minded. Hilarious, takes one to know one, bro!

Two Zen monks, Tanzan and Ekido, traveling on pilgrimage, came to a muddy river crossing. There they saw a lovely young woman dressed in her kimono and finery, obviously not knowing how to cross the river without ruining her clothes. Without further ado, Tanzan graciously picked her up, held her close to him, and carried her across the muddy river, placing her onto the dry ground. Then he and Ekido continued on their way. Hours later they found themselves at a lodging temple. And here Ekido could no longer restrain himself and gushed forth his complaints: “Surely, it is against the rules, what you did back there…. Touching a woman is simply not allowed…. How could you have done that? … And to have such close contact with her! … This is a violation of all monastic protocol…” Thus he went on with his verbiage. Tanzan listened patiently to the accusations. Finally, during a pause, he said, “Look, I set that girl down back at the crossing. Are you still carrying her?”

Logical fallacies, like cognitive dissonance, are tricks our mind plays on us. Logical fallacies are really misleading. Think two pieces of truth sandwiched around some bullshit, it’s hard to decipher. PETA memes are perfect examples of logical fallacies. They tend to be “this fact + that fact = GO VEGAN!”. Let’s bust out an example: PETA meme: “Not eating a pound of meat saves more water than showering for 6 months” then the caption “animals raised for food produce more than 10 times more the poop and pee as humans do much of which ends up in our water. Go Green/Go Vegan”  The first part is a fact *but* only as far as factory farmed animals are concerned. Using vague words like “meat” as a blanket statement takes something that’s true (excessive amounts of water is being used for factory farming) and distributes that truth onto something inaccurate (meat raised in a polyculture or on pasture doesn’t require excesses amount of water AND the “waste” is now a benefit to the system). The logic conveyed is there’s only one way to raise animals for food (which is a huge fallacy) and that veggie is you’re only solution to their made up problem. Another misleading vegan slogan is “meat rots in your gut”. Everything rots in your gut, it’s what your gut does. Or the billboard with the the pig and puppy that says “why love one and eat the other” the fallacy is that you can’t love something you kill. i’ve been to small family farms where the husband, wife or kids play midwife when their cows or pigs are giving birth at 4am. They always aware of the safety of their animals, always protecting, feeding, giving affection and attention around the clock 365 days a year. They definitely love them. Is the point blank issue about love or is about killing? is killing an animal right or wrong? I honestly don’t know. Is the issue black and white? If killing animals is wrong then that would apply to all carnivores? Is it more wrong for a human to eat a deer than lion or a coyote? Could someone explain how you’d even go about figuring that out? PETA never talks about all of the animal death involved in growing vegan food, their one sided memes just seem really misleading.

Our preferences are not wrong. We don’t choice what we’re attracted to and we don’t always need to base our decisions on our preferences either. Life is flexible, break your own rules since they’re arbitrary anyway. Just try to be aware of the conflict of interests that lie within you and don’t snuff parts of yourself out (or shame others into snuffing them self out). This is something I wonder, there’s one school of thought that acts like we’re this eternal being that’s truly formless and can not be touched by this temporary worldly experience. And often that same crowd of people will also say that some disgraceful acts are somehow a blemish on your being.

The Fox and the Grapes is one of the traditional Aesop’s fables and can be held to illustrate the concept of cognitive dissonance. In this view, the premise of the fox that covets inaccessible grapes is taken to stand for a person who attempts to hold incompatible ideas simultaneously. In that case, the disdain the fox expresses for the grapes at the conclusion to the fable serves at least to diminish the dissonance even if the behaviour in fact remains irrational. The moral to the story is “It is easy to despise what you cannot get.”

Sour grapes aka The Fox and the Grapes is a great example of what people do in the health community. you take whatever food you’re not allowed and tell your self how much you don’t miss it and never really liked it. whatever, it’s how you’re coping. i saw my friend last summer who’s doing a low fat diet/lifestyle. she mentioned (and I don’t know if she remembers saying this) “i love french fries but i’m scared of all of the fat”. in that moment i was really rutting for her. i LOVE that she’s doing what the fuck she wants to do. she’d a grown up, she’s trying her best, she has dreams and goals and she wasn’t lying to herself. she deserves a goddamn metal! let’s all be straight up, say how we feel inside even when we have conflict within our self. Let’s not walk around correcting each other, that shit is old and feels dirty as fuck. Self correct and don’t get sucked into your own fallacies. and to save embarrassment down the road don’t try to suck other people into your fallacies.

after biking a few miles in Phoenix on a very hot 101 degree day i was inspired to buy a large bottle of lemonade. i bet that was my first time buying lemonade in my life. it was a maybe a half of a gallon of 3 ingredient; organic lemon juice, organic sugar & water. i don’t think i could remake the same half gallon organic for the same low price of $2.69 but i was inspired to make my own non-organic version.

this is funny, how many times have i looked up how to use some herbal or wild crafted item to see a recipe full of sugar. i always had a feeling of shock and would think “how the hell do herbs and processed shit go together in a recipe? how mainstream of them and they don’t even know to be embarrassed”. then i’d look up a hippie alternative that used honey or something and wonder why all recipes weren’t on a that caliber. now that the shoe’s on the other foot i will say this; the drink is pure pleasure.

Lemonade Recipe

i googled a lemonade recipe and the first one the popped up had been rated by 1,400 people with almost 5 stars so i felt that was the route to go. it’s damn near impossible to follow a recipe, even if it’s 3 ingredient. their recipe said 1.75 cup of sugar and i did 1.25.

here’s what i did late last night

  • measured 1.25 cup of sugar then set it aside til morning (any sweetener would work, less would work as well)
  • boiled water then poured in ceramic tea pot, added a handful of raspberry leaf & tulsi then cover with a towel over night
  • juiced 9 small lemons then realized i didn’t have even close to enough juice then juiced a bunch of limes totaling 1.25 cup
  • sliced up ginger because i was too lazy to want to dirty & clean the grater
  • mixed the ginger in the juice and let it marinate in the fridge overnight

next morning

  • strained the tea from herbs
  • heated up a small pot of the tea with the sugar til it dissolved
  • poured the plain tea into a half gallon glass, added the warm sugared tea to that
  • removed the ginger from the juice, added that to the tea
  • my measurements were pretty good, bottle was full

i poured my first glass to taste it and it was epic! super epic! i added water to top off my bottle, replacing the 8 ounces from my first tasting which give this recipe 9 servings (8oz) for 130 calories of pure sugar each. i won’t go as far as saying that the recipe is too sweet but i would like to play around with using less sugar. also i’ve been pouring maybe 4 ounces of this citrus gingerage to 20 ounces of water for a flavor enhancer. i like being conservative.


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anarchist kitchen tiny house and land

Tiny House and Land

summer kids, dumpster, woods 077 copy


i wrote this article and it is awesome. dig through it even just to look at the pictures. ENJOY!

I wrote an ebook on dumpster diving!  I the book on our website,

it’s a short 13 pages, half of those are pictures. The PDF is $4.99 but it’s also FREE for those who prefer that.

it’s not just a story, it’s a HOW TO DUMPSTER FOR FOOD & MONEY

summer kids, dumpster, woods 077 copy

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anarchist kitchen tiny house and land

UPDATE!!! —> i’ve learned how to eat for free.


so in my ebook about saving money i talk about budgeting food expenses. before we moved to arkansas $120 was our weekly food money but there was supplementing to it from our “extras” funds if we went out to eat or bought some frozen yogurt. so the number is higher than $120 but $120 is the grocery story weekly average. when we moved back to texas we had a ton of money because we sold our land. then it became clear that living at my parents i needed my own car. so we poured $2,500 into that. then a week later the car died and paid to get it towed home. within a week of that we concluded that dallas would really offer us more satisfying jobs. there was one apartment complex that was a couple hundred dollars less than anything else and is an best neighborhood in dallas which is like living in the forest. so in order to secure an ideal apartment without having a job we paid 6th months of rent upfront, thousands of dollars. we went from rich to poor over night. we even had to borrow money so that we’d have food and gas to get by. mark got a job but the day for him to start kept getting pushed back and before you know it we are scrapping together change to buy food for the week. the food i was eating on borrowed money was a ton of fruit from the cheap store and rationing some meat from the fancy store with small amounts of rice here and there & a homemade hail mary chocolate/coconut filling kind of thing. the day were were out of borrowed-money food we cashed in all of our coins, $15 for a weeks worth of food. for 2 people that’s a dollar a day.


the first thing that came to mind was what i did 13 years ago, ramen noodles. so we get to the store and ramen (3.5oz) is 5 for $1. i’m feeling resistant to eating ramen but i’m also excited that i can’t throw money at my problems. we look around the store and find a cheaper than raman option. a small bag of pasta (7 oz) is also 5 for $1. we find the bullion section of the store and opt for the slightly higher quality powdered shit. marks eyeing the lobster flavor and i compare ingredients. the chicken flavor one resembles ramens flavor profile more closely. SALT, SUGAR, FLAVOR (in that order). this one doesn’t have the crazy amounts of filler, says all natural on the front and cost a dollar more. i did buy a huge watermelon & that was pretty much all of our money. we had a weeks worth of pasta, stock flavoring and fruit.

believe it or not our food lasted almost 2 weeks! but it also included using the last cans of tuna, eating anything that we had avoided in the pantry and adding butter to everything.

here’s an example of a meal that we’d split and because the butter had been untouched in the fridge for a while, same with the tuna, this meal cost *20 cents* off of that weeks trip to the store. let’s add in the tuna and butter for our new total, $2.45 for 2 people. not bad.


770 calories PASTA *7 oz
200 calories BUTTER * 2 TB
175 calories TUNA can
I know how much we all like talking about junk food so here it is.


i’m still on a GOKALEO kick. one of the things she talks about is getting adequate amounts of calories. Eating too little calories of food will have your body burning up its own tissues, organs and muscles as an energy source. calories are a log on the fire. it’d be ideal to burn energy from food and not internal organs, obviously. when working out we require a lot of fuel to get through the workout and to grow our muscle. nutrients matter and calories matter but calories matter more. using our kindergarten analogy of a fire lasting only as long is it’s fueled, for the most part, makes sense. calorie is a measurement of heat. 1 calorie is the amount of heat needed to raise the temperature of a gram of water by one degree Celsius. building more muscle is definitely like building a bigger fire. more fire, more logs. you can build a big fire with lots of shit logs or lots of good quality logs but either way more fuel is required. however, wanting to build a big fire with small high quality logs will give you a very good short burn.

nutrient AND calorie dense foods together would be IDEAL and so would having all your needs met without having to be rich.

5 years ago nutrient density was my goal and i consumed a lot of things that were higher in nutrients per calorie but over all it wasn’t enough calories so my body broke down muscle to fuel the fire.

earlier this year i started refeeding to get my body temperature closer 98.7, it was in the low 97s. my extreme dry skin and extreme cold aversions were a product of an unbalanced low carb / paleo lifestyle (under-eating as well). when i was paleo my skin would breakout if i ate anything with rancid veggie old oil in it and my joints would hurt if i ate something with sugar in it. praise the lord, it’s a sign! then i’d be strict until the next binge. i used to think binging was a sign of weakness, ha! 50% of my binging was because i was starving for calories, the other half was because my diet was unbalance in macro nutrients. when i was a raw foodist and ate something cooked i’d feel bad, again, i’d thank the lord for giving me a sign. but refeeding was an exploration of breaking the orthorexic ties. while i was paleo i’d binged on frozen yogurt and i’d chalk it up to a moment of weakness, making all sorts of excuses & justifications. with refeeding there’s none of that, no making up stories about what the food is or isn’t, ZERO MORALS. everyday i’d commit to eating a bunch of junk food and calories and NOT read the ingredient list or try not to think of factory farm milk or eggs. so a week into living on walmart cake (which is pure rancid oil, sugar and flour) my skin became BABY SOFT! i got out of the shower and hadn’t put coconut oil on yet and my body just moisturized itself! first time in 3 years! no breakouts, no joint pain. the only sign from the lord was my largest organ, the skin, seemed to be functioning again.

3 months into refeeding my pants were all way too uncomfortable. my prides way too high to buy clothes that fit so i thanked refeeding for decluttering my brain. for years my brain had millions of little comments about other peoples food choices (NOT FRIENDS OR FAMILY but strangers) now i don’t have that. if someone is eating junk food there is a silence upstairs that wasn’t there before. and most of the time it wouldn’t be words or thoughts but i’d get a feeling or my brain would experience a change in vibration based solely on someone ordering chicken on their salad or getting a diet soda with their meal. i don’t transmute these thoughts, they are just no longer there. i definitely feel like i can vibe with more people now, how sad that i was resistant to people! orthorexia was my mental disorder. so i’m no longer over eating but focusing on a small calorie deficiency so that my clothes can fit. i have noticed a dip in my body temperature from eating less which really sucks. for a minute there, i’d be somewhere and someone would say they were cold and i’d feel fine. then last week i sat in a coffee shop for hours and was freezing. then a few days later i went to a thrift store and the AC there had me freezing again! cold aversion /freezing is not simply being uncomfortable, it’s fucking torture. i hate it.

some of the symptoms that i thought were a sign of going in the wrong direction were actually sensations of tissue/cellar repair and muscle repletion despite feeling like shit and looking like i’d gained 10lbs over night.

gokaleo talks about people with disordered thinking imagining that because you eat junk food you must only eat junk food. if someone i know eats some bullshit fast food i can’t assume that it’s the only thing they eat.

so the dogma free advice of the day is to really tell everyone to “eat whatever you want”. if you think that you shouldn’t tell people to eat whatever they want because people will just eat junk food then speak for yourself. also considering having a wider variety of friends, people aren’t what you think. a few weeks into refeeding i was living off beans and rice, i didn’t want meat or junk food. i didn’t crave or look forward to decedent food, eating enough of all the macro nutrients is satisfying.

i still have moments where i want to not eat because all of my food choices seem like they’re bad then i snap out of it and feel like it’s time to grow up.

heres some cheap calorie dense foods in case you’re down to your last few dollars, clearly this is not for those rich at heart.
250 calories / 16 cents -DONUT (stores sell day old donuts 12 for $2)
120 calories / 32 cents -CHEESE 1oz
322 calories / $1.50 AVOCADO whole
188 calories / 12 cents PEANUT BUTTER 2tb
140 calories / 14 cents FROSTING 2tb
770 calories / 20 cents PASTA 7 oz
200 calories / 20 cents RICE 1cup
70 calories / 12 cents BREAD slice
500 calories/ 99cents RAVIOLI can

compare to yummy:
164 calories / $5 RASPBERRIES pint

so this list is a bit ridiculous but i find value in entertaining these things because we’re going to be living on the cheap for months while we get out shit together.
the bit about feeling like shit after consuming some taboo foods came about after talking with deb. she asked me what “diet of the month i was on” then it launched into pretty much everything i’ve talked about here. the point isn’t that junk food is all good but rather that isn’t not ALL bad. but i’m sure you already know this.



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mistys kombucha


i’ve been friends with misty for many years. she just gave birth to her new baby boy and graced me with the honor of taking a million photos. misty and her husband have 4 beautiful children. misty sells art and kombucha to support her family. if you’re in the dallas area she’s worth messaging her on facebook to get her sweet, sweet kombucha nectar.




calories. more can be better.

food is good

age 29, my birthday 013

so after digging through ten long pages of blog posts by Go Kaleo i’ve got more to bring to the table. she talks about calories and why they matter. if i understood her, it seems pretty straight forward. there’s a general way to calculate how many units of energy (calories) each of our bodies need. in order for me to run around as a waitress 8 hours a day, sleep 9.5 hours a night, maintain my 140lbs of weight while being 5’4” i require 2,300 calories (give or take 300 calories). when i eat less calories i won’t maintain my weight and when i eat a whole lot less calories my body takes the required energy from my bones, brain, organs, and muscles for fuel. taking someones blog on it’s word i looked up what my requirements were and for the first time i had a number (2,300 calories). then i looked up how many calories a day i’d been eating for the last 2+ months. holy hell. i’ve been eating between 1,000 to 1,300. no wonder my workouts had to be put on hold when i started eating to reduce gut inflamation. wow, that totally puts in persective all the junk food me and mark would split. a bag of chips is 1,300 calories, a box of cookies can be 900 calories, the amount of frozen yogurt that i would personally get would be around 400 calories and a tablespoon of peanut butter is 100 calories. mark would eat a large jar of peanut butter over the course of a few days. being that i’ve been on the full gamit of restrictive diets, it’s pretty clear that the cycle of clean eating that would take place for days, weeks or months at a time would be a calorie deficit turned over on its head. at some point the dam would have to break and i’d get on a streak of fro yo….daily. but think about it, all the junk food would bring in a daily calorie surge of 400 or more in one sitting, for a person consistently striving to (unknowingly) under-eat, the junk food was a saving (calorie) grace. looking back, i went a pretty decent stretch of time without eating junk food when i was pumped about 100% raw veganism. granted i lived off of processed powders and agave syrup….i did eat at least 4 avocados a day (around 300 calories each) then add in the many chocolate drinks, the many nut pates and the tons of fruit. all in all i lost a ton of muscle but my calories were not so bad. no supplemental bag of chips needed. my first impression about paleo was that it was a low carb kind of thing. since then robb wolf and chris kresser have been trying to steer the boat in the other direction (saying that paleo isn’t low carb and that calories do matter). but that message didn’t sink in and in the end i clearly ate too little calories because my cravings for calorie dense snacks (junk) came way too often. eating in a way that less inflames my gut seems to be around 1300 calories on a good day. now having the eye to understand my cravings (for more calories) really takes off the judgment and shame of my junk food ways.

liver, plants, food 020

here’s the insight i’ve gained from this new looking glass: *if i don’t want to crave/eat junk then i really need to get more calories in through whole foods, about 2300 calories *gaining muscle requires even more calories than my maintainence minimum *junk food has done me some favors in the past and bad mouthing junk food is no way to return the favor *real food can only do so much if there’s not enough fuel to maintain the fire *more real food is the way *food includes all the macros (fat, protein & carbs!)

when eating a restrictive diet, be sure you’re not semi-starving yourself. there are 2 must-reads (and include links to the calculators for figuring out how much you need and how much you’ve been getting):

i’d LOVE to hear any insights or disagreements.

raw vegan days. bloated & no muscle.

raw vegan days. bloated & no muscle.

here’s some calorie* refrences: 1 med avocado 322*

4oz. bacon 611*  or 1 slice 46*

cooked ground beef 1/2lb 579*

1/2 lb ground pork  600*

1medium raw banana 105*

1 carrot 16*

med sweet pot 100*

med potato 161*

coconut oil 1T 120*

1T butter 102

1/4 cup coconut milk 111*, 1Tablesp 28*, 1 cup 445

1cup cooked rice, 205*

1oz slice cheddar 113*

med egg 63*

1T peanut butter 94*

8oz chips 1278*

11oz fro yo  413*

chocolate bar 3.5 oz  593*

4oz cookies  473*

large cucumber peeled 32*

1cup boiled spinach 41*

1cup chard (boiled) 35*

1 cup zucchini (boiled) 29*

1 cup raspberries 64*

1cup blueberries  84*

med orange 62*

bacon grease tortilla recipe

i made mark tortillas. super simple, maybe the recipe needs a little less fat, i’ll see next time i make this.



1cup rice flour
1cup tapioca flour

3/4 cup water

1/2t baking soda
1/2t salt
1t cajun seasoning
2Tbacon grease


mix everything up before you add the fat in, maybe start with 1T of fat. OOoooh, test a small amount, roll a small ball, flatten it and fry it in a skillet.



my new fav food.



DSC_0149i’ve read a million places that gelatin from pastured animal bones & skin is THE best thing to heal gut issues. i’ve also heard that it does wonders for our skin & joints.

DSC_0159here’s my first time jello recipe.

DSC_0161disolve 4 T of gelatin in a cup of water, let aside. juice 2 lemons, add about a cup of frozen raspberries, add water til it reaches a 2 cup total. put the 2 cups of raspberry, lemon, water goodness into a pot and boil with ginger (i used an herbal ball to hold the ginger). once it’s nice and hot carefully put it in a blender and add the gelatin water mixture. blend, pour, put in fridge. this is sour, not sweet. if you can handle some sweet then i’m sure you know how to take it to the max.












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anarchist kitchen tiny house and land


candy moutain banner


caramel wrapped mallowsa few weeks back i saw an ad in the paper that the farmers market was looking for cheese vendors. i figured we’d find a good source of dairy and make butter, ghee, yogurt and cheese. after calling a dozen different health service government workers i was directed to ask my questions (“what do i need to do to sell dairy products at the farmers market?”) to the health inspector. he kept saying, “no, i don’t THINK you can do that”. whatever. then the farmers market got us intouch with a woman who told us that we really could sell dairy goods but the hoops to jump through were a bit outside of my pumped up feeling. (such as going to a dairy plant to make produce the goods). so i reviewed the farmers market guide to see what was clearly allowed with no questions asked. the only realistic thing i could make on that list was candy. i looked up a bunch of recipes and it seemed simple enough. i bought about $200s in organic ingredients and supplies. i failed every recipe back to back. money, joy, inspiration, & time all went down the drain. not to mention that i haven’t been able to sample anything because i’m working on gut health, sugar is a no-no.

trufflessugar is science. to get the right texture while not creating a crystilized failure was totally my weakness. plus using organic ingredients without corn syrup created a situation where many of the recipes were wrong and would fail…. or would have to be adjusted for the lack of corn syrup and would also lead to failure. i’ll say this, failing this much in such a short amount of time was pretty soul crushing. but what got me though was the soul quenching desire to take beautiful pictures of MY CANDY!

mint pattiesthere’s a couple stories of funny stories of failure that i will not bore you with. after all the failure i started to win. we ran our booth for the first time. it was a very cold day (it ended up snowing that afternoon). almost no one came out to the market. BUT! with all that said, we still made $74 in 3 hours. success! the farmers market will be busy soon but we’re clearly doing fine for now. i’m excited to be a part of our farmers market. we love our farmers and they’ve done a lot to show us that we’re welcome.


*side note
putting myself out there was very revealing. i pretty much never want to talk shit on anyone for trying ever again. plus i can understand why things often cost more than what it seems. i had invested about $700 into getting this stand going but you’d never know it by looking at it. right now i’m not pricing things at an hourly rate on how long it took me to make. i hope folks consider my prices fair, most things are a $1 per ounce (give or take).

lolipop coffee bean

PS: failed organic fudge may be too gritty to sell but i know people would enjoy it for free. failed candy has made me friends.

candy mix

z chalk boardcheck out info & pictures of our Tiny House And Land

anarchist kitchen tiny house and land